Blood Lust
by Tsukiyono Omi
Summary: A look into the head of the Schwarz psycho...^^;;


I dont own Farfie or anyone else. I own nothing. T_T  
WARNINGS: Its a look inside Farfie's head..isnt that warning enough?  
  
Blood Lust  
  
  
  
They all think I'm crazy. I think its quite funny. I'm no more crazy then Red. Of course, he isn't perfectly sane, either. Red knows I'm not crazy. I don't care when he looks in my head. Sometimes it's funny to see the reaction on his face when he sees certain things. The boy knows I'm not insane, too. For a kid, he's pretty damned smart. It's no wonder they call him 'the Prodigy.'  
  
I used to have a name. I as 'Jei'. Now I'm just Farfarello. Jei is dead. Crawford told me my codename is 'Berzerker.' Crawford can go to hell for all I care.   
  
It would be nice to kill him. I'd do it slowly, so that he really feels it; so that he has time to think about the pain. I think I hate Crawford more than I hate God. His blood would be beautiful decorating my blades.   
  
Blood.  
  
Red.  
  
Beautiful.  
  
Even more so, red against the silver metal background.   
  
Red against snow white flesh.  
  
God hurts when I kill. It's beautiful.  
  
Not just the killing. Blood. Blood is my favourite colour. The red fluid of life. It's a bittersweet coppery taste. If they would let me, I could live off of blood alone.  
  
My only love. Or maybe it's just lust. That for blood. Who needs love when there is blood? When there is killing? Love in a human emotion. I'm beyond that now.  
  
I feel no pain. Not physical, not emotional, not at all. Pain in a human emotion, too. But God hurts. God feels pain when I kill His creations. God is dead. But he hurts.  
  
The only human feeling I have is lust. Everything else died with Jei. Farfarello isn't very old, but this body is almost 20 years old. I still have those damned urges that other people do. But I can squash them like the annoyances that they are.   
  
Sex amuses me. Especially sex with Nagi. He doesn't mind when I make him bleed. I think he likes it. If any of us are crazy, it's the boy. He reminds me of an anime I used to watch when I first came to this stupid country. Yes, I watched anime. Still do.  
  
Nagi reminds me of that pretty blonde boy from Gundam Wing. Quatre? Yes, that was his name. He would look nice all covered in blood. Nagi is a combination of both Quatre and Trowa.  
  
Red says I watch too much TV. I'm the one who got him addicted to infomercials. I really like the ones about knives. But that bastard Crawford doesn't let me order them. He doesn't trust me anymore. Not after I killed that little Takatori brat.   
  
Hers was a nice death. Lots of blood. The screams of the Weiß boy were almost as nice as the girls death. I could hear his screams for miles. Schuldich shared his pain with me even after I couldn't physically hear him anymore. Such pain. Such anguish.  
  
Even if God didn't hurt, the Weiß boy did. I'll bet he still hurts.  
  
I've started to get used to the straightjacket that they make me wear sometimes. No, that *he* makes me wear. I really hate Crawford. If it weren't for Red, he'd be long gone by now.  
  
The only thing that keeps my from killing Crawford is the fact that Schuldich is madly in love with him.  
  
What is love, exactly? Not just the love of the kill, or for blood. But that feeling that humans get for other people. I don't understand it. I don't think I ever have.   
  
Jei might have known about it. I don't think it really exists. I could never trust someone that much.  
  
I trust no one but myself. Even God has forsaken me. He let my family die when I was small. It wasn't even my real family! My mother was named Ruth. How ironic; my mother was a nun.  
  
God especially hurts when nuns are killed.  
  
Nagi always asks me whey I put out my own eye. How can I explain it to him that he would understand? He's smart, but he can never understand. No one does. I read a play once, where a Greek guy blinded himself because he was blind to the truth that was so obvious in front of him.  
  
I know the truth. God is dead.  
  
I think I may not be far behind.  
  
  
  
Owari! Erm...thats Farfie for ya...the scary thing is, it wasnt that hard to write...please review and tell me how insane I am, deshou? ^^;;  



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